Well, well, well...it looks like 'ol Red will be going out of town again. That's right. When your a world traveler, like myself, you must endure such things. So that can mean only one thing. Well, actually 2. It means the site will have one super long update. And it also means you won't be seeing another one until I get back.
I'm sure your crushed.

Better late (8 days, but who's counting) then never. I can almost smell the love. (How did he know about that carpeting. HOW DID HE KNOW?!?!?! This worries me.)

I put a new caption contest up. Along with the winners from last week.

I also update the Keywords used to find us page.

How's the job market out there these days? Anyone still looking for honest work? I think I may have found something you might be good at. Or should I say I know, you'll be good at. All you'd need would be a little of this, and perhaps a little of this and your sure to rake in the dough. You may even make employee of the month. ("Your welcome, no need for the handshake".)

Lameware wishes me a belated Happy B-day and then goes on to reveal a little bit to much about his sexual preferences.

WTF is this all about? I think it's some sort of world domination cloning experiment gone terribly wrong.

While I'm gone, make sure to stop by and wish my little Steel Girl a happy B-Day. It's the least you can do. Here are the warm wishes I sent her. (See people! It don't take much to send a fucking b-day greeting. Remember that next year when Red turns yet another year older.)

A few more emails from surfers.

Here are some funky time wasters to whittle away the hours until I return.

Do you have what it takes to be in the F.B.I.? Well, perhaps you should take this test and find out.

Here's some more places to waste time whilst you wait for my grand return:
--Place 1 -- Place 2 -- Place 3 -- Place 4 -- Place 5 -- Place 6 -- Place 7 --

If all else fails you can get your rocks off at: 1-877-247-PERV