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Week 45: Macchiosongs
Los Angeles, CA
August 21
8:17
AM: Prologue
Sometimes something that is universally
regarded as wrong can turn out to be surprisingly right. Take, for
example, Leonard Nimoy. Or Indians. Another case in point: Tina Yothers'
new restaurant/music venue "Rock 'n Eat", where her band, The Yothers
Experience, playes every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and
Saturday nights to packed* houses. Everyone thought that was a bad idea,
right? Anytime a star releases an album of original music (or covers for
that matter) they are inevitably laughed at and not taken remotely
seriously.
This is the story of one man who fought to break that
unwritten rule.
He rises early this morning; probably
nerves. Why is he nervous? You would be too if today was the day you
layed down twelve stellar tracks at the "Make Me A Star!" Recording Studio
on Hermosa Blvd.
A quick breakfast of two Nutri-Grain bars and
an extra large cup of throat-soothiong herbal tea, and it's off to cut
some vinyl.
*near empty |
9:03 PM: Lukewarm welcome
Arrival.
He unpacks his gear: a six string Stratocaster
given to him by the lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket, a
twelve-string acoustic given to him by Taco, and one set of golden
vocal chords set to rock the freakin' house. His arrival is greeted
with little fanfare; evidently no one knew he was coming or
doesn't care that he is there. After 15 minutes wandering the halls
at the studio, Ralph gets impatient and begins throwing one of his
patented temper tantrums.
"What the hell, buttholes!!!" he
screams, violently. "I'm here dammit and I want to record an
album!!"
This gets the attention of Studio Director Brice Steele, who runs out of his office and
gets security to release Seniõr Macchio. |
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11:24 PM: Recording |
It begins.
Ralph starts layning down the material for his first album,
tentatively called Macchiosongs: An Audiophinic Experience That
Will Send Your Ass to Rockville, U.S.A.
Track 1, a reworking of the theme
song to "Different Strokes", goes well, as does track 2, an orignal
entitled "Rock It (Rock Mix)".
Track 3, however, proves to be a little
more difficult. It's an acapella number based on the television show
Small Wonder entitled "Small Wonder (acapella)", in which
Macchio layers seven of his own vocal tracks. The first three go
well, but when number four rolls ariound there is a problem. It seems
that Brice Steele feels that Macchio is using too much bass in his
attack, and tells him exactly that. At first the Macch is unfazed,
vowing to improve the track and ease up on the bass. Seven takes later, however, it was a different
story.
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"We are young..."
After Brice Steele demands an eighth acapella
bass track, Macchio begins to get noticably angry. "This is total
bullshit!!!", he srcreams. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to
do or what not to do! Don't you know who I am?"
"I know who you are,
Mr. Macchio", explanes an exasprerated Brice, "And I just want
Macchiosongs: An Audiophinic Experience That Will Send Your
Ass to Rockville, U.S.A. to be the best album it can be."
This reasoning seeems to calm Macchio, and he
begins work on the fourth track, a cover of Pat
Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield". The session musicians
begin the song, but it becomes obvious quickly that Ralph does not know any
of the words. He fakes it as long as he can until Brice demands that track be scratched and work on the next
begin. This is fine with Macchio, since track 5, entitled "Who wants to Rock?" is one of Macchio's personal favorites. The recording goes excellently. |
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| 2:53 PM: Who, or what, is after the Macch? |
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Track 6: on
original called "What time is it? (Time to get a Macch)" is being
recorded when a mysterious visitor throws the session into a state
of chaos.
It seems that someone, or something, does not want
Macchiosongs: An Audiophinic Experience That Will Send Your
Ass to Rockville, U.S.A to be recorded.
Who, or what,
could it be?
Only time will tell... | |
Who wants to Rock?
Words & music by Ralph Macchio
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
(rock, rock, rock)
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
(rock, rock, rock)
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
I said, who wants to rock?
(rock, rock, rock)
Who wants to rock?
Who wants to rock?
Let's rock!
(repeat chorus)
Next Week: He Works Hard for the Honey: Macchio as a
beekeeper? |
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