And there it is, you are a lie. You smile and laugh, but you don't get the joke, you don't think its funny. You shake his hand eat lunch with him. Buy him a beer. You smile. You would like nothing better then to smash his face against the bar top.

He just smiles some more, thinking what a great guy you are to listen to all his problems, because you understand him, your like him. Every time you don't say something, he imagines what your thinking. And it's exactly what your supposed to be thinking to satisfy his own emptiness. You smile. He smiles. everybody is happy. Except you. You are living a lie.

But the real question you have to ask yourself now. Is why? Why are you living this lie? You're not happy. He is happy, well guess what, you don't give a flying fuck about him anyway.

Another question. Just when are you happy? Well, when you're not faking it, when you're not smiling stupidly and nodding. When you are alone. Peacefully alone. When you're not listening to his problems.

But you're not going to stop buying him a beer. Or tell him to shut the fuck up before you have to kill him. No you're just going to keep it up, and let the anger slowly build. Then one day you're going to be smiling, and nodding, and listening without listening. And your going to snap!and Mr. I have problems and I love you man, is going to discover a violent twist in the relationship, and he's going to wander what happened, was it the stress from work? Are you on drugs and he just didn't know? Did something bad happen to you as a child? Why? I thought we were good friends, how could this happen?

And he will never know that he is the one that brought you to that point, you could tell him, ohh you can tell him over and over. ‘Shut the fuck up! I hate you! I hate you're mom, I hate your stupid bitch of a wife! I don't care I don't want to hear about it!' as you crack his strait and white teeth all over the bar!

It's not as simple as a dog, you just got to get them right when they do something wrong. But not a human. Oh no. You smack a guy on the head and he doesn't click that with the fact that he's supposed to shut up, no he asks, "'what did you do that for?'" Then he starts analyzing everything from you're passed. what you where mad about two weeks ago, a dollar he owes you. Anything but the fact that you want him to shut up. They think about everything and know that it can't ever be there fault. Cuz there so damn perfect.

So there you are sitting in a padded room, you're buddies drinking a beer and bitching and moaning to somebody else. And you are finally left alone. (The other patients are scared of you.) You get shiny red pills, and don't have to wear a tie. You get udding and a total stress free life. You even get coloring books. This is happiness.

grim_lee@hotmail.com