Why are you contacting us : NeedInfo
Who did you want this to go to : Anyone
Comments : dear gods of very little,

i\'ve written a few rants here and there, and to my surprize you guys actualy put them up. goes to show just how little tallent one needs to be put on the net...ok so here\'s the deal. i need a little advice. and since you guys are the coolest people who will ahve anything to do with me i thought i\'d start here before asking my real friends. who by the way are imaginary just so you know. so this is what i got. there\'s this girl, yeah yeah yeah, i know don\'t all problems start out like this? and i like her, and she well she, like the rest of the world, doesn\'t like me that much...so i guess to make it short, and easy to bear, i need to be cool. any tips or ideas

mikey lackofagenda@aol.com

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Mikey,
You got questions......
We've got answers. At the last staffmeeting, at the Redbrain Factory, I posed the question to the staff. Here is what they came back with:

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Hey Buddy-
Cool is as Cool does... Forrest Gump's retard brother told me that one. If
you think you are cool, other people will too. Take me for instance, this
chick thought I was doin' a bad job in the sack, so I threw her out in the
street. That's pretty cool. You know what she thinks now, I bet she thinks I
am pretty cool that I didn't need her. Be you and fuck everybody else, and
hey those imaginary friends....watch out. I fucked this imaginary girlfriend
I had once and got herpes. Just a word of caution.

Now Fuck All'Yall
Lumpy The Clown
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ok coming from the guy behind the Unkle Slappy Nuttz name here are my tips:

1. you hafta ALWAYS be yourself...not who you wanna be..i have always preached that an i have people who hate me but respect me..an i have people who love me an i love em back..

being yourself is what i do..i had women who refused to even talk to me..now since im honest women love me..

try to find out why she doesnt like you (if you still wear the michael jackson thriller jacket..well bud in my book your fuckin kick ass) and maybe try to make small changes..not to look like a sell out bitch..but to let her know your evolving..

now a word from Unkle Slappy nuttz-slap her in the head an unzip your pink panties..she will drop to her knees gulpin the dick up like she new she should of in the first place...

Unkle Slappy Nuttz
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tell this guy to go jump off a building

B.L.A.Z.E.
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I hope it's been helpfull.... Now go and spread your coolness, like Lumpy spreads his cheeks for a good salad-tossin, down at county lockup.
--RedBrain--